I was away to talk to a person, met someone who’ll help me get on my feet once more. And we talked about the way I spoke about myself, I described myself using the word ‘Useless’. And he reminded me how strong of a word it is, and I realized it really is. But it’s still the word I use to describe myself. And he wrote on the whiteboard, first asking if we could do something a bit more difficult. He wrote on the top with big letters ‘Positive traits’. And as soon as I saw that my world crumbled. It’s so easy to talk about yourself in a negative light, but positive. I couldn’t come up with one and I was doing so hard trying to create one positive trait about myself. I thought ‘I’m nice’ but that, I wouldn’t count that as a trait but he did. Then again, what goes against my niceness is how cold and rude I can be too. He told me that everyone got those sides but now we’re focusing on the positive not the negative.
That’s how I’d like to describe me Inefficient. At least I think that’s one of the words to describe me. It’s a bit weird but that’s how I feel at times, the things I do, what they waste on me.
Thinking harder and more on this just made me feel like I take up a huge room and place, more than I’m worth.
This will be short, and it’s again, not only I. But so many else that feels like this, like they are every negative word and just a waste. But I don’t like this kind of self-pity so I’ll just leave it to this.
I must say, I like these Daily Prompts thing, some word is a bit difficult for me to figure something about, so I ponder a bit. Reading other’s post and a few guides, trying to figure out what the word means to me. Today’s word is Swallow. First thing I thought about was the bird, Swallow. But if I am, to be honest, I’m no bird watcher, all I know about Swallows is that they are a majestic eagle. But something else that I came to think about is the feeling of trying to swallow when you feel as bad as you do and to swallow truth.
Taking part in the one-word prompts and this one is: Faceless
Now the first thing I came to think of is faceless in World of Warcraft. Those old god minions, but this is not a gaming blog, I’m not nobbel87 so I won’t bring them up, but there’s another thing that sticks in my head. Something else that I think about when it comes to faceless, and no, it’s not game of thrones either. I love that show but this is about… My ex. Sort of. I suppose he seems to be the main subject of this blog but here we go.
My ex, once more when I think I think I can finally move on and be happy, find someone and fall in love. He fading from my mind, or so I think. Go to bed with a smile on my face and just feeling good about myself. Chatting away with my boyfriend and falling asleep on him while chatting. Waking up about an hour later, he’d already gone to sleep so I put my phone away and go to bed again.
So this daily challenge thingy, I honestly cannot do it, it seemed like a great idea I had at first, fun and all. But it’s so boring and I can’t answer most of my own topics, I just fill out the days when I wrote it, so now I’ll come up with more and other interesting topics… Or do the daily thing. But the 30-days challenge, never have been able to do it, never will I.
So there’s this guy, who’ve been having some beef with my mom and my family. Started with him deciding out of nowhere to talk smack. He started to call my mother a liar, jealous and yadda yadda. Starting to really throw some crap her way to her, and to others too. So I decided I’d talk to him, and all I told him was to calm down and if he didn’t decide to stop talking out his arse, he didn’t need to bother coming to ‘sort’ things out with us. Because I wouldn’t let him into our home. He right away got all chicken and went. “Are you threatening me?” – If he saw that as a threat, then he’s welcome to, however that was not a threat, it was an ultimatum, a rather fair one, too for that matter.