Day 1. First love

There’s a difference between your first crush and your first love.
We all have crushes sometimes, someone we feel a special feeling about, can’t tear our eyes off from. But then there’s the first love, the one we want to spend the rest of our lives with.


The first love I had. He was a mutual friend of my friends. We used to hang out and we went to the same school.
I remember he had alergies and went to his locker during class to take some meds for it, me and my girl friends had recess then so we snatched him and I just in the most creepy way just stared at him, with a wide cheesy smile and made him really uncomfortable. I had started to grow feelings for him. I was in a rather abusive relationship then, but it didn’t stop me from trying to presue this guy.
It took some time before I tried to get out from him if he had some feelings for someone, I did get it out of him after a while and it turned out it was one of my closer friends.
I felt heartbroken and I told him how I felt for him, and he wanted to ask -her- about their relationship or whatever, I was alright with that and he needed time.

Me and my best friend at the time was talking on our way to school or down to two, I don’t remember where we were going. And I told her what had happened and she scolded me, I remember the words she told me, that if he ends up with her that I only have myself to suit.

Two weeks after that talk, we did get together actually me and this guy. I’m not going to say it was love at frist sight, that I knew it was him and wanted to spend my life with him instantly. I knew it after a year we’ve been together. That was 2013. I still love him, and I want to spend my life with the guy. He doesn’t love me, we broke up over a year ago now, too. He’ve blocked me and doesn’t want me in his life, why? I don’t know. He doesn’t want to say.

But in the end of the day, he’s my frist love, and I’d do anything for him to be mine again, with him I got this feeling. That no matter what happened, nothing could go wrong. I could end up on the street no money, no home, no one to go to as long as I had him. It was all alright.

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