I had another dream.

My ex, once more when I think I think I can finally move on and be happy, find someone and fall in love. He fading from my mind, or so I think. Go to bed with a smile on my face and just feeling good about myself. Chatting away with my boyfriend and falling asleep on him while chatting. Waking up about an hour later, he’d already gone to sleep so I put my phone away and go to bed again.

Then, the dream come and surprise me. I was with my best friend and chilled in her new apartment, we spoke about her apartment and how it looked, I told her I wasn’t a fan of her wallpaper but the rest of the apartment was really fly. I don’t remember what more happened but I remember I was wandering outside as happy as ever and suddenly passed him. I stopped myself in my tracks and he continued walking. I was sure he saw me but I called him out, called after him. Calling his name and he stopped, turned around to look at me. His face was as surprised as mine and I felt my heart drop to the ground.
I turned around saying nothing more and hurrying away, would be the most stupid thing I’d ever do, to be honest. If I saw him I wouldn’t run away because that’d mean I’d lose my only chance to ever see him or speak to him again. But I ran away and he called me this time. I didn’t listen and pressed on.
Later that day I was in my home and the door knocked, I went to open it and as soon as I saw him I tried to close the door, once more an idiotic thing for me to do. But he stopped me and we ended up talking things out, things went great and… I asked him, like every other dream I have, asking him why he never answered me for over a year. And his answer to that was. “I forgot.” I didn’t believe that in my dream, of course, but I didn’t care. I had him back.

That part makes me think of a page from my favorite webcomic. Bittersweet Candy Bowl. Made by @Taeshi

I was so happy just to have that shattered. I woke up feeling this pain away, a cold feeling in my chest and feeling actually ill. I instantly took my book I fixed to write, I decided to fill the pages inside of it as a ‘letter’, so when it’s filled in I’ll send it to him. But I started to write in that. And we’ll see if I ever decide to actually send it away. It’s far from full yet… Doubt I’ll fill all the pages.


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