I’ve learned with years from depression to control my emotions, try to be understanding when other’s cannot. But there’s one emotion I have huge problems with controlling. It’s when I’m annoyed. And when I try to control it, I sort of can if the smallest thing doesn’t happen, like having dry feet. I cannot have dry feet or hands and function like a normal person. Or when I’m slightly annoyed and someone acts like a complete cunt.
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Lost friendship

I don’t know what to go on about today, but I came to think of old friends, most specificly a friend I used to adore and really like, even pass his possessivnessand wanting to sleep with me. Jack was his name. I adored him and we were pretty good friends… It was a couple of years ago. I remember he felt free to ‘lecture’ me whenever I did something he didn’t agree on. I hated that, but I still adored him. Continue reading “Lost friendship”

Child abuse?!

I was outside with my mom and a friend of her, suddenly I see as I sit on the park bench a former friend of her walking towards us. This person is known to be a bit… Special. She leaves her 4-year-old home alone at night while she sleeps so this lady can go sleep with some random. It’s HOT outside and she put her child in winter boots. She also has slept over with the guys, sleeping in the same bad as the guys she has with her daughter.
It’s not that she just changes guy 2 times a month, but she also has multiple guys at once. She does her, whatever. But she involves every guy with her daughter…
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Psychic dreams

Do you believe in psychic dreams? I for sure don’t. I really don’t but every dream I’ve had that really gets to me have me thinking, re-thinking decisions and let those dreams just nag on me all day, or whatever conclusion I come up with after having that dream. I don’t really believe in psychic dreams or that my dreams do mean something or want to send a message to me, I don’t bash people who do. People are allowed to believe whatever they want.

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Time goes too fast

Been out all day, I just realized how fast time passes by. I was out in the park for a while with mom and her friends. Someone was finishing school, someone I knew who was rather young before. Apparently, she’s 19 and turning 20, while I remember the person as 15. It’s strange how time flies by and you start to notice it. I’m not too sure how to feel about it. I’m curious about the future but before we know it. It’ve already passed.

Can I be sexy?

I’m very positive that everyone has looked themselves in the mirror or just avoided that while asking the question. Am I sexy? Can I be? despite my flaws. Am I attractive? I was in bed thinking that myself. Watching Liza Koshy, she pointed out her small chest, but it’d seem her chest is actually bigger than mine. It got me worried and I actually had to google in a desperate attempt to see if I could actually be sexy despite having a really small chest.

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Haven’t blogged

There’s not many or any that actually reads my stuff so I haven’t felt too bad about not writing anything. But the reason that I haven’t written anything is that I haven’t had that feeling. The feelings I hate so much, feeling of heartbreak.
Did I move on? I’m way too scared to actually answer that question truthfully. I’m scared that it will be false no matter what I say, so I guess that’s a way to say I don’t really know. But I do know that the guy I’m with now, actually I really really like. I love that man and it’s stronger than I’ve felt before, I think.
I’m still scared of saying something like that for fear of it being incorrect, or me sounding rude, I’m not too sure. My feelings are very confusing but I know for sure that I want to be with this guy and that he makes me happy.
Plans are to move in with him next year if it feels right, next summer.  But this summer I’m going to see him for four weeks. I’m scared of the trip I’ll take but I’m sure it will all be fine once I’ve gotten it over with.
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