I’m very positive that everyone has looked themselves in the mirror or just avoided that while asking the question. Am I sexy? Can I be? despite my flaws. Am I attractive? I was in bed thinking that myself. Watching Liza Koshy, she pointed out her small chest, but it’d seem her chest is actually bigger than mine. It got me worried and I actually had to google in a desperate attempt to see if I could actually be sexy despite having a really small chest.
There’s not many or any that actually reads my stuff so I haven’t felt too bad about not writing anything. But the reason that I haven’t written anything is that I haven’t had that feeling. The feelings I hate so much, feeling of heartbreak.
Did I move on? I’m way too scared to actually answer that question truthfully. I’m scared that it will be false no matter what I say, so I guess that’s a way to say I don’t really know. But I do know that the guy I’m with now, actually I really really like. I love that man and it’s stronger than I’ve felt before, I think.
I’m still scared of saying something like that for fear of it being incorrect, or me sounding rude, I’m not too sure. My feelings are very confusing but I know for sure that I want to be with this guy and that he makes me happy.
Plans are to move in with him next year if it feels right, next summer. But this summer I’m going to see him for four weeks. I’m scared of the trip I’ll take but I’m sure it will all be fine once I’ve gotten it over with.
Continue reading “Haven’t blogged”
I haven’t been too good posting here, but I’m not going to promise myself anything. But I remember now why I tried to write every day, because every day he was on my mind, however this time I don’t want that. I really don’t.
Continue reading “Yet another dream”
My mother and her ex, my two siblings father. (not mine) about a year and a half ago, broke up and separated. Move to their own places, which I’m fine with, I hated that guy. They decided to split the time the kids have with each of the parents. Every second week with us, every second week with him. During that time we noticed something strange each time they came back to us.
Continue reading “A deadbeat dad.”
I was away to talk to a person, met someone who’ll help me get on my feet once more. And we talked about the way I spoke about myself, I described myself using the word ‘Useless’. And he reminded me how strong of a word it is, and I realized it really is. But it’s still the word I use to describe myself. And he wrote on the whiteboard, first asking if we could do something a bit more difficult. He wrote on the top with big letters ‘Positive traits’. And as soon as I saw that my world crumbled. It’s so easy to talk about yourself in a negative light, but positive. I couldn’t come up with one and I was doing so hard trying to create one positive trait about myself. I thought ‘I’m nice’ but that, I wouldn’t count that as a trait but he did. Then again, what goes against my niceness is how cold and rude I can be too. He told me that everyone got those sides but now we’re focusing on the positive not the negative.
That’s how I’d like to describe me Inefficient. At least I think that’s one of the words to describe me. It’s a bit weird but that’s how I feel at times, the things I do, what they waste on me.
Thinking harder and more on this just made me feel like I take up a huge room and place, more than I’m worth.
This will be short, and it’s again, not only I. But so many else that feels like this, like they are every negative word and just a waste. But I don’t like this kind of self-pity so I’ll just leave it to this.
I must say, I like these Daily Prompts thing, some word is a bit difficult for me to figure something about, so I ponder a bit. Reading other’s post and a few guides, trying to figure out what the word means to me. Today’s word is Swallow. First thing I thought about was the bird, Swallow. But if I am, to be honest, I’m no bird watcher, all I know about Swallows is that they are a majestic eagle. But something else that I came to think about is the feeling of trying to swallow when you feel as bad as you do and to swallow truth.